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July 12, 2008{

Regrets

warning:
long post, if u hate reading,
don't read this post. sorry no pictures.

regrets.....living with things that
you knew you could have done better
but failed to do so. Its so frustrating.
its like i concentrate real hard and it
just doesn't turns out right.

yesterday was full of disappointments.
Firstly in the morning, Cross-country,
i got 32 among 100+ students.
if i had only pushed more abit over my limit
i could have gotten 18th-20th position.
at the last stretch, my heart was breaking down,
my lungs were as though they were screaming out,
and i couldn't breathe right.
and then i fell, and that fall took away a lot of my strength
and about tens of people passed me,

then after everything, i did dumb things
to forget about it and calm myself down.
then i went home changed and pray.
after prayers i went for the hardest
soccer match of my life.

at first i thought i was up against
the second best team in west zone.
then it turns out to be the champion
team in east zone. that was more than enough
to throw off my concentration.
and then in the end of everything.
i got the thrashing of my life.
5-0......................
and all those goals,
really took a toll on my mental thinking.

and after the match, i reflected in the bus.
alright to understand,
me better for this part i'll put it in easier terms,
its like, everyone had complete faith and trust
in you and you let them down,
to all the goal keepers in the world,
i know how you truly feel when losing
an important soccer match.

after everything, i went to
sit at my favorite relax spot in my neighborhood
to calm myself down, i didn't
want to go home straight
because home had to much
items that could cause me to do the unthinkable

and when i was sitting down,
my dad called me and told me
they are celebrating my cousins birthday.
he's a close cousin of mine
so i went karaoke-ing at chinatown
area and drown my sorrows in singing
and everything turned around when i started sing
i was from sad and suicidally crazy to happy and calm :)
and i went home and i was knocked out.
well all i can say is everyone has their sad day.





posted at
10:49 AM